'Iban Marriage\r'

'A immature globe may draw at the age of twenty-two, if he is the only child in the family. If he has br another(prenominal)s or sisters, he is likely to marry when he grows older. A young wo existencefriend usually marries at the age of eighteen. At these ages young men and women generally know how to be begin themselves. If a young manhood wants to marry he may recognise his p atomic number 18nts, so that they may spot the girl of wholeness of their close relatives for him. If he wishes to marry a particular girl, he may tell them so, so that they may think about it in making a final decision.If they equal to their parole’s choice, they ordain send word regarding their invention to the girl’s p arnts. If the boy’s beg is acceptable to the parents of the girl, then the latter may stimulate a day for nanya bini, when they can discuss officially the rules they will fol subaltern at the wedding party of their children. A day or two prior to nany a bini, the young man’s parents will pro drum their relatives about the coming wedding of their give-and-take to the girl he loves.They also request that terzetto men and three women who are very closely related to them joint them in meeting and discussing the coming brotherhood with the girl’s parents on the nanya bini day. The nanya bini meeting between parents of the future day bride and the bridegroom may meditate place every during the day or at night. If it is held during the day, the young man’s parents and relatives will come early to the girl’s room. On their arrival the men are asked to take a seat on the mats which arrive at been spread for this purpose along the girl’s family’s upper gallery, while the women are adjured to take a seat in the family room.At about 10 a. m. , after the visitors have been entertained with drinks, the girl’s preceptor mentions all the nation of the long house and his relatives who h ave arrived from other villages to gather at his lower gallery in order to hear his discussion with his visitors. After the people have taken their seats the parents of the bride and the bridegroom protest their friends arid relatives that they have correspondd that their son and their daughter should be married if the bridegroom’s parents agree to the payment of adat nikah (marriage price) prayed by the bride’s parents as follows: 1.A bride’s wealth of $ atomic number 6 to $300, depending upon the family background of the bride-to-be, and lower than $100 if she is of low birth. 2. A sigi alas muda, $4. 00, to sigi rusa, $8. 00, of bunga pinang (ceremonial wedding fee), and sigi jabir, $1. 00, to sigi panding, $2. 00 again, if the bride is of low birth. 3. One medium size brass gun (bedil) for batang pinang and one bendai gong for tandan pinang if the bride and the bridegroom are of baronial families. People of common background would not demand the batan g and tandan pinang pre directs from the bridegroom’s family.If the bridegroom’s parents agree to pay the marriage price, then a genealogist (tukang tusut) will recite the bride’s and the bridegroom’s family trees to figure whether the marriage is incestuous or not. Incestuous promoter in this connection that the couple is kin of variant generations. If their union is incestuous to this sense then the betrothal parents should inform the Penghulu (district chief) that the coming marriage ceremony of their children will be celebrated with besapat ka ai or bekalih di darat depending on the category of the incest as discussed earlier (cf, pp. 29-30).At the end of the discussion of nanya bini, the groom’s parents leave a flatware girdle (lampit) with the bride as a deposit to hold their promise. A day is then set for the melah pinang or marriage ceremony which must be held within three months. If it is an incestuous marriage, it must be held as s oon as possible after the besapat ka ai or bekalih di darat ceremonies in order to avoid kudi (disaster). A few days after this, the groom’s parents will gather the people of their longhouse to inform them that their son’s marriage has been concur upon in discussion with the future bride’s parents.The groom’s father also tells them of the day agreed upon for the wedding festival. From this quantify onwards the groom’s family starts to make cakes and accumulates the derian fees. The marriage festival (melah pinang) is held in the bride’s house. About one week before the Melah Pinang festival is held, the groom’s parents again call all the people in their longhouse to meet at their gallery as they are to send the belanja (expenses) to the bride’s parents. At this meeting all(prenominal) family in the longhouse presends whatever money its members have agreed to con-tribute to finance the feast.After the groom’s parents h ave sent their belanja for the Melah Pinang feast, the girl’s parents will begin to pound rice, brew jars of tuak wine, and buy the necessary bulls, pigs and drinks for the oc¬casion. Four to phoebe bird days before the ceremony, the girl’s parents call for a meeting of people on their house gallery. At this meeting, the girl’s father enquires from the heads of distributively family whether they have finished making preparations for the ceremony. If all preparations have been made, then the bride’s father will inform the people of how many neighboring longhouses he intends to lure to the feast.The people of other families in the longhouse will of course agree to this and one man is sent to invite the guests upriver while another man is sent downriver. The two men inform the guests to come to the wedding festival early that day so that their response can be properly perfor¬med. By this guide the agreement to marry is considered binding on both par¬ties, and compensation must be paying(a) if either wishes to break the agreement. 1. If a young man makes a promise to discuss his marriage with a girl’s parents and fails to do so agree to his promise, he is fined sigi jabir, $1. 0, and sigi panding, $2. 00, for the comprise of pinang sirih wasted by the parents of the girl. If he refuses to pay the fine, the case is brought to the court of the Penghulu for further hearing. 2. If a bridegroom fails to marry his bride after the melah pinang day has been fixed, through no fault of the later, the former is fined sigi panding, $2. 00, and sigi alas, $4. 00, respectively, the later for the cost of wasted pinang sirih. If the bridegroom refuses to pay the fine, the case is brought to the Penghulu’s court for further judgment.\r\n'